Jesus Moved Into the Neighborhood

We are in the midst of the Advent season.  This time the dictionary definition is almost prophetic:

• Advent - The coming or arrival, especially of something extremely important 

Yes, indeed.  This is a season of preparation, of eager anticipation.  This is the beginning of the Christian Year.  Advent prepares us for the greatest event in human history -- the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, God "in the flesh."

There will be Christmas pageants.  A heavenly host of angels and shepherds and wise men.  There will be Marys and Josephs.  There will be babies whose parents will delight in their son (or daughter) portraying Baby Jesus, lying in a manger.  

There will be sheep and cows and donkeys and straw.  There will be children's choirs, adult choirs, hand bell choirs, orchestras and bands, all helping us prepare for this most important coming of all.

The Gospel of John declares this incredible miracle unlike any of the other Gospels (in my opinion).  In John 1:14, he says:

• And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us (KJV)
• And so the Word became flesh and took a place among us for a time (Darby Bible)
• The Word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood. (The Message)

"The Word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood."  I think that's my favorite version of this text.  Because it conveys the settledness of God's decision.  This was not merely a "visitation." It was a "habitation."  Jesus moved into our world. 

I am thankful that we have four accounts of the life of our Savior -- four different perspectives -- each unique (acknowledging the similarities of the Synoptics and the singular nature of John).  They give us significant details of His birth, various accounts of His life with the disciples, many of His teachings and descriptions of His miracles, and details of His arrest, trial, and crucifixion.  I just wish we had more.  

I wish the Gospel writers had deemed it important to tell us more about Jesus' life from birth to the time He gathered the twelve and started His"official" ministry.  Other than a snapshot of Jesus at twelve years old in the Gospel of Luke, there really is a gap of about thirty years.  And I suppose at the time, none of them thought the details of Jesus' life growing up important enough to record. They wanted to make sure the world understood this Man was from God -- this Man named Jesus was the Messiah, the Promised One, the Savior. 

I understand their eagerness, their passion to proclaim this greatest miracle of all time, and to stick to the most important parts of the story.  God loved us so much He came in human form, as a baby, and demonstrated His divinity through His ministry, eventually suffering and dying for our sins, and then rising from the dead to conquer sin and death.  What an incredible God we have -- what great love!

But I think we can sometimes miss a significant part of this miracle -- a significant part of the Divine Incarnation.  The part where Jesus comes and LIVES with us.  The part where God "moves into the neighborhood."  The part where God doesn't just become a human being, but also experiences all of what it means to be a human being.  God actually entered into our time and space and became a human son, with an earthly mother and father, sisters and brothers.  Jesus wasn't just born to die.  He was born to LIVE.  

Why do I think this is so important to the story?  Because I think we have a hard time talking about Jesus as a human being.  It's so much easier to talk about Him as the Son of God.  It's so much easier to talk about Jesus as being perfect, without sin, fully Divine.  We have a much more difficult time talking about the fact that He was fully human as well.  

When we fail to see Jesus as a human being, I think we miss a major point of the Incarnation.  God was -- and IS -- literally WITH US.  God came to us and stayed, took up residence, had a real, human life among us. The Gospel of John says that He "tabernacled," or "dwelt" with us, which means He was with us as a friend, as a brother, as one of the family.  

John repeats this important truth in his first letter  when he declares, "That which was from the beginning (Jesus), which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched..."  John wants to make sure we get the message that Jesus LIVED.  He lived a life out in the open, among people, among friends, among family.

And because of this,  He knows what it feels like to be a human being.  And not just all the physical aspects of being a living, breathing person -- eating, drinking, sleeping, waking, walking, talking, working, playing -- but all of the emotional, intellectual and spiritual aspects that come with humanness. 

Jesus had to GROW.  In fact, Scripture gives evidence of that fact, "The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God was upon Him," (Luke 2:40).

He had close friendships.  Parents who loved Him.  He experienced joy in this world, but also devastating heartache.  He loved, certainly with the love of the Father, but also with human love. His heart was broken by betrayal and rejection.  And yet He continued to love.  Because love really isn't love without sacrifice -- without risk -- without truly giving yourself to another and allowing them the ability to cherish or reject this gift.

We have a Creator, a God, who loves us so much He came down to OUR level.  The God of the universe, Creator of all, came here to learn what it means to be a created one.  To learn what it means to be US.  God entered our world in the only way He could to truly understand us -- by becoming ONE of us.  

Jesus moved into the neighborhood and now God is able to understand us and love us in a way He couldn't before.  Is that possible?  I really think so.  I think that one of the most profound miracles of the Incarnation is that God is now REALLY with us.  

Through Jesus, God's Only Son, fully divine AND fully  human, we now have an Advocate with the Father -- One who speaks on our behalf because He KNOWS.  And the Holy Spirit is evidence of God's Presence among us always.  Jesus didn't physically stay in the neighborhood forever, but His Spirit lives and moves and takes up residence in all who believe in Him.  God is still in the neighborhood.

Emmanual -- God is TRULY with us.

Finding Jesus at Walmart

I am not a shopper.  And that is a huge understatement.  There is a strong, dominant shopping gene on my mother's side of the family.  My mother clearly has it.  She successfully passed it down to my two sisters.  It missed me.  I take after my dad's side of the family.  On the few occasions that I remember my dad coming with us to shop, he took along one of his science fiction books, found a chair somewhere, and contently read while we went from store to store.  At least I managed to pass along the shopping gene to both of my daughters -- but now they're stuck with a mom who would rather go just about anywhere other than a mall -- unless it has a movie theater -- then it's a completely different story.


Suffice it to say, I did not go shopping on Black Friday.  I did purchase a few things on Cyber Monday.  My younger sister went shopping on Black Friday.  She lives for that day.  She owns that day.  She gets deals on that day that other people only dream about.  I would stack her up against any other Black Friday shopper.  She would win.  Hands down.


Not me.  I get anxiety attacks when I think of shopping on Black Friday.  And honestly, from now until Christmas it's a bit too rough out there for me.  But we still need stuff, even during the holidays, so I must shop.

This afternoon I ventured to Walmart.  It was busy, which I expected on the first Saturday in December.  But there was something else I noticed that troubled me much more.  No one seemed happy.  No one was smiling.  Except for a few children who were laughing and talking a mile a minute, most people were looking down, or away -- avoiding eye contact with strangers.  They seemed as if the weight of the world was on their shoulders.  Even the Salvation Army bell ringer didn't appear to be having any fun.  So much for this season of "love and good cheer."

It wasn't until I reached the checkout counter that I realized I hadn't done a thing to help change the situation.  I hadn't done a thing to help spread "love and good cheer" myself.  I could have looked people in the eye and smiled.  I could have said "hello" as I walked the aisles.  But the truth is, I was tired and stressed and wanted to get home myself.  I walked by dozens of other human beings, each with their own concerns and needs, each with their own families and responsibilities, each created in God's image and loved by Jesus.  But I stayed in my own "world" instead of venturing out into theirs, if only for a moment, if only to say "hello."


It wasn't until the checkout counter that I realized my responsibility -- and privilege --  to love others, even as I'm shopping at Walmart.  I looked up and saw a fellow human being, working as a checker at Walmart. We not only exchanged the necessary polite phrases, but we engaged in a meaningful conversation.   He told me about his six year-old daughter who had to endure several brain surgeries because of a rare congenital disease.  Thankfully, she is doing better.  He said he loves his job at Walmart because he gets to help people.  He seemed like a wonderful man.  We didn't talk about Jesus -- neither of us shared our faith journeys -- but I know Jesus was Present.

There are sacred moments waiting to happen all around us, maybe even especially at places like Walmart, or the grocery store, or the doctor's office, or the post office.  Jesus is HERE, and He wants US to make Him known.

Let's dare to have some genuine conversations with others, even complete "strangers," this season.  Let's dare to really look at other people -- look into their hearts and lives with the love of Jesus.

We have the ability to share with others the very thing they need the most -- real, genuine love -- unconditional love -- the love of Jesus Christ.  This is our sacred calling as followers of Jesus.  It's always our job.  But maybe, during this season of "love and good cheer," it is needed even more.  Maybe during this time of "giving," people are actually more desperate for gifts with true meaning --conversations with others who show them genuine concern and care -- genuine interest in who they really are on the inside.



And then, we might just have the chance to share with them the best news of all -- the greatest gift we've ever received -- the inexpressible gift of God's love, Who came in the form of a baby, born in Bethlehem, Judea.  Born to be our Light and our Salvation.  Born to be our King and our Friend.  And how this Savior, this Baby, has changed our personal world, turned it upside down, given us hope and joy and love and meaning.  Just maybe we could have this conversation in the middle of a Walmart, or a KMart, or ToysRUs.  Maybe we can find Jesus all over the place this Christmas season.

Incredible Lessons from the Life of Ellen Mannoia

I had the privilege of knowing one of the strongest, bravest, and most graceful women on the planet.  She came to Greenville College in 1999 with her husband, our newly appointed GC president, Jim Mannoia.  She also came with a diagnosis of cancer that had been in remission for ten years.  Ten years.  Many doctors say that when cancer has been in remission for ten years, it's gone. So imagine their shock and disappointment when her cancer came back.

But Ellen Mannoia rarely showed any disappointment.  She rarely showed any discouragement.  I never heard her express anger toward God, or doubt about whether He was taking care of her.  Maybe she had her private moments when these normal, well-deserved emotions would surface.  Perhaps when she and Jim were alone, or when she was with other family members and close friends, she'd allow herself to express these emotions.  But if there was that side of her, most of us never saw it.

One day I asked her, "Ellen, how do you stay so positive?  How are you able to hold on to hope in the midst of everything you're going through?  How are you able to trust God when your future is uncertain?"  Her response was profoundly simple.  Really.  Profoundly simple.  "I remember to thank God every day for what I have."

She told me that in the morning before she got out of bed, she would mentally make a list of all the things for which she was grateful.  "Counting my blessings," she would say.  This simple act of recounting all the things that God had given to her, all the many ways that He was showing her His love and mercy, the small, daily reminders of His grace, changed her attitude, lifted her spirit, and made her a tremendous blessing to others.

It's important to know that this process of "counting your blessings" didn't really change Ellen's situation.  She still suffered immensely.  Cancer treatments robbed her of strength.  She experienced extreme pain.

It's also important to know that this process of "counting your blessings" wasn't just an exercise of positive thinking or false hope for Ellen.  I think she knew how badly things could turn out for her.  But still she had hope.  Hope that endured beyond her current situation.  Hope for this life -- and beyond.  She knew God was with her.  Counting her blessings helped remind her of this fact. 

Count your blessings.  Name them, one by one.  And then give thanks.  It's amazing how this simple exercise can help set our hearts and minds straight.

So here is a partial list of my blessings, in no particular order.  Most of these things aren't huge from the world's perspective.  In fact, some of them will probably seem very small -- but they are huge to me.  Because I believe they come from God.  I believe they are one way that God shows me that He's right here with me all the time.  I just have to look and listen. God's Presence is all around us.  God is in the ordinary, as well as the extraordinary.  And when I take the time to notice, I realize how blessed I am. 

• My first sip of coffee in the morning (Ok, so mine wouldn't look this dark because I put lots of cream in it...)

• Staring into a clear, star-filled night sky (with a shooting star as a bonus!) and being overwhelmed by God's limitlessness.

• An unexpected hug from my daughter, just because she felt like hugging me.

•  Having one of my youth ministry students sing, "One Less Lonely Girl" to me in class (you really had to be there to fully appreciate this one!)

• Being stopped in the grocery store by an acquaintance who told me that she's been praying for me every day.

• A text from a friend who simply wanted to say, "I love you."

• Watching "Duck Dynasty" for the first time with my son and laughing out loud with him (I think it's my new favorite show -- makes me almost want to be a redneck)

•  Freshly popped popcorn, a large Diet Coke, and a good movie at The Globe Theater in Greenville.

• An incredible promise from God's Word that popped into my head and heart, at just the right time ("Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God; trust also in Me" -- John 14:1)

• Being there when my daughter crossed the finish line in her first cross-country sectional meet.

•  Standing in front of chapel and looking over the crowd and feeling such love and humility -- I can't believe I get to do this job.

• Never having to go to bed hungry -- unless by choice.

• The smell of sawdust and paint thinner, because it takes me back to my dad's workbench where I spent countless hours with him.  I really miss him.  And I am so thankful for his influence in my life. 

• Walking out the front door with my daughters the other morning and seeing this beautiful carpet of leaves all over our front lawn.  Overnight, when the temperature dipped below freezing, the leaves dropped like rain.  

•  Teaching a great group of students who have such a heart for the Lord and for reaching youth with the love of Jesus.

• The look on my daughter's face after the Justin Bieber concert.  Definitely worth the price of the ticket:)

• Remembering the taste of fresh mango while sitting at a table with old and new friends in Malindi, Kenya.

• Listening to the soothing voice of a singer who seems to have written her song specifically for me, to minister to my heart.

• Memories -- precious memories -- of people and events from my past.  Although I cannot physically get back to those times, the memories cannot be taken away.  I can cherish them in my mind and heart, and thank God for them.

•  Joining hands in prayer with a friend who knows me well, and yet still dares to love me.

• Stepping outside and feeling the cool breeze and the warm sun and just knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God is here.

Counting my blessings doesn't mean that I no longer struggle in this life.  To the contrary, there are some pretty significant issues that I still face.  I still must deal with sorrow and pain.  But God is HERE in and through it all.

So now YOU go and make your own list.  Count YOUR blessings.  Name them, one by one.  See what God is doing in your life all the time.  Take the time to notice His Presence in the ordinary, every day of your life.  He LOVES you.  He DELIGHTS in you.  YOU are always on His mind.  NEVER forget that.

The Ultimate Paradox

A good movie is worth watching over and over again.  Of course, my definition of "good" might differ from other people's definition.  No matter how often I've seen it, "The Sound of Music" still inspires me to sing, to appreciate the everyday blessings of life, and to follow my dreams.  The "Lord of the Rings" trilogy draws me into the world of Middle Earth where I find myself believing once again that true friendship can withstand any test or trial, and good will eventually triumph over evil.  And tears come to my eyes every time I hear King George VI proclaim,  "I have a voice!" in the film, "The King's Speech," because it reminds me that I, too, have a voice -- and I not only have a right, but an obligation, to use it.

In much the same way, a good book is worth reading over and over again.  Every five years or so I pick up my Chronicles of Narnia books and follow the adventures of Lucy, Susan, Peter, Edmund, Mr. & Mrs. Beaver, Eustice, Prince Caspian, Polly, and all the others as they learn how to love and obey Aslan and care for Aslan's Narnia.  I love to read and re-read anything written by Henri Nouwen (I readily admit my extreme prejudice toward Nouwen!)  And recently I picked up a book that I first read when I was in college but now it seems as if I am reading it for the first time -- again.


As a shy, insecure college freshman, I found Hinds Feet on High Places (by Hannah Hurnard) a book that brought me comfort and hope.  An insightful and beautifully written allegory of the Christian life, Hinds Feet seemed as if it were written about ME, because I saw so much of myself in the main character, "Much Afraid."  I read this book and gained courage from Much Afraid's journey, as it seemed to parallel much of my own journey toward healing and wholeness.  She attained the transformation I longed for, with a new name ("Grace and Glory") and new-found courage to serve the Shepherd. 


But in my more recent reading of this book I've discovered two characters I almost overlooked in my previous readings.  Strange that I would overlook them, because now they almost jump off the pages at me.  Now I see them as absolutely essential to the story.  Maybe I just wasn't ready to see them before.  Maybe it was easier to overlook them.  But not anymore.


To aid Much Afraid on her difficult and perilous journey to the high places, the Shepherd gives her two traveling companions.  Two "friends" who will stay by her side, helping her over the difficult paths, guiding her the whole way.  When they first hold out their hands to her, Much Afraid is reluctant to embrace them.  And who could blame her?  Why would anyone embrace companions named Sorrow and Suffering?  And yet without these two, Much Afraid would never have made it to the High Places.



Could it be that sorrow and suffering are actually an essential part of true spiritual transformation?  A vital part of God's plan for all those who desire to grow deeper in their faith, closer to God's heart?  I think most of us who are on this journey of faith would say that we have grown during our times of pain, suffering and sorrow.  But embrace suffering?  Hold out our hand to sorrow?  That requires more than our reluctant acceptance of what we cannot change.  It requires our open hand to God -- our open, outstretched hand to the One Who desires to give us the best of gifts -- gifts that can never be taken away from us. It is truly a paradox -- the best gifts, the deeper growth, the most profound positive changes, come from the most difficult of circumstances in our lives.



I readily admit that I am not eager to experience more sorrow and suffering.  But I AM eager to know more of God's heart.  And I desperately want to stay in the place where I am closest to Him, where I am most dependent upon Him,  and where He has my complete and full attention.  Whether that is through my own sorrow and suffering, or as I enter into the sorrow and suffering of others, I KNOW God's Presence is there.  

I Have Sinned...

 The Church is in need of healing.  Desperately.  But I don't think it's physical healing that we need.  Our most severe wounds are not skin deep.  They go much, much deeper than these earthly temples in which we live -- much deeper than flesh and blood.  Our wounds are deep within where it is dark and somewhat frightening -- almost too dark and frightening to talk about.  We need a healing -- a healing of our souls.  

When I was growing up we lived just a few blocks from a large Roman Catholic church and school, and many of my childhood friends were Catholic.  My family was Lutheran.  I remember on Saturday mornings my Catholic friends often went to something called "confession," and I was especially thankful not to be a Catholic on those days.  When I asked my parents why we didn't have to go to confession, I was told that we didn't need a Priest or anyone else in the "middle" between us and God.  We could go directly to God ourselves and confess our sins.   It sounded good to me.  Keep things private.  Just between God and me.

It doesn't sound good to me anymore.  In fact, I think it's the primary reason so many of us are so broken and wounded inside, bound by the very sin from which Jesus freed us.

It's not that we don't know Jesus.  We would say that we have been "saved."  We have been "set free."  But have we?  How saved are we?  How free are we?

I learn so much from my college students.  I love to watch them as they worship God in chapel and Vespers, dance at the Homecoming dance, play in the marching band, compete in athletics, sing in the choir, and perform at the Factory Theater.  But one of my favorite places to engage with them is in the classroom, especially on the days when the discussion leads to matters of deepest importance. Last Wednesday was one of those days.

It was my youth ministry class.  Many of the students in this class will become youth pastors.  All of them are passionate about working with youth in some capacity.  There was a group presentation on the topic of sex:  promiscuity, pornography, homosexuality, and other challenges that they will face as they work with youth today.  As the discussion progressed, I told them that youth need a safe place to talk about their sexual struggles and temptations, as well as a place to confess their sexual sins and find forgiveness and support.

One of the students then asked, "What if we're struggling with the same things they are?"  I stopped to take a deep breath.  "These are struggles we all face, yes"  I said.  Someone else said, "I think a lot of college students are walking around with these huge weights, these huge burdens.  It might be sin in their past or something they're struggling with now.  And they think they're too far gone.  They can't ever really feel free.  They never really feel loved and accepted."


My heart broke.  I knew they were right.  I told them, "It's not just youth or college students who walk around with these burdens and temptations and sins.  Adults have the same issues.  We just get better at hiding them as we get older."

I've thought about our conversation ever since I  left class.  What are we doing as the Church?  What are we doing as followers of Jesus Christ?  We are "saved" but we're still in bondage.  We are "forgiven" but we still feel condemned.  We are God's children, but we feel like outcasts -- wounded, abandoned, alone.

The apostle James wrote, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed" (James 5:16).  Healed.  HEALED.  We are forgiven because of Christ's sacrifice.  But often God's healing grace is given through the act of confessing our sins to one another and praying for each other.


Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Life Together) said,

"A man who confesses his sins in the presence of a brother knows that he is no longer alone with himself; he experiences the presence of God in the reality of the other person.  As long as I am by myself in the confession of my sins everything remains in the dark, but in the presence of a brother the sin has to be brought into the light."(116).

We experience the Presence of God in the reality of the OTHER person.  Someone else is in this WITH us.  God's Presence, God's Holy Spirit, is in our brother or sister and they become ministers of God's healing grace.

My fellow Protestants, we could learn some important lessons from our Catholic brothers and sisters, especially in the area of confession.  Our "Jesus and me" theology has kept us from experiencing God's healing grace that flows when we truly confess our sins TO ONE ANOTHER. 


Obviously, we need to use discretion and discernment in choosing when and to whom we confess our sins and burdens.  But it seems to me that we are neglecting one of the most important roles of being a part of the body of Christ, the Church.  We are to be a community of believers that CONFESSES to one another and then allows the grace and love of Jesus Christ to flow through us to others -- His life-giving, healing grace.

We need to confess to God, AND to our brothers and sisters in Christ, that we have sinned...and we are ALL in need of God's healing grace.



 

The death of a hamster

You know the phrase, "truth is stranger than fiction."  Well, it's stranger and funnier and sadder sometimes, too.  I was retelling this true story the other day and I still laugh every time I do.  And, sometimes I cry.  I promise you -- I am not making ANY of this up.  I might not have all the dialogue exactly right, but it's as close as I can remember.  Maybe this story can add some joy -- and perspective -- to your Monday.

I'm allergic to dogs (actually, I'm allergic to anything with hair, except people, thankfully) so I did not give in to the kids relentless begging for a dog.  I did, however, allow them to get hamsters.  We started with one, then two, then three, then one died and we were down to two, and then another died and were down to one (the average life span of a hamster is 2 years).  And then we got Leah.  Leah was a teddy bear hamster.  We "adopted" her from another family.  She was unlike any hamster I'd ever known.  Really.  You could pet her, hold her, have her run all over you, and she'd never bite you.  As hamsters go, she was perfect.

But then she got sick.  Everyone was concerned (well, by "everyone" I mean my daughters and I).  I promised the girls she would get better.  It was just a virus.  But, unfortunately, she didn't get better.   I knew I had to do something.  The look of panic and concern on my daughters' faces told me I HAD to do something.  It was a Saturday morning.  I began calling veterinarians in the area (remember, true story).  I found one about an hour away that would look at her, but I wasn't sure she would survive the trip.  Then I found one here in town, and when I talked to his assistant she was so sweet.  "Bring her in.  We'll look at her right away."

So the three of us -- excuse me, FOUR of us, got in the van.  Me, Hannah, Emily, and Leah (in her cage).  We went into the doctor's office and waited until he called us into the examination room.  He took Leah out of her cage and placed her on the large, stainless steel examination table.  She couldn't even stand up straight.  She tried to walk and kept falling.  And there was a little bit of blood coming out of her mouth.  "She's a rodent" I kept trying to tell myself as I got choked up.  "A rodent."  But a really cute rodent.

The doctor picked her up and looked more closely, then placed her back down and said he wanted to try to inject her with an antibiotic.  As he got the needle ready, Hannah decided she'd had enough.  She left the room, crying, and went out to the van.  Emily (who aspires to be a doctor) hung in there, and watched as the doctor prepared the syringe.

But then Leah got worse.  She was having trouble breathing.  The doctor's assistant picked her up and began administering CPR (remember, true story).  Let me quickly add that it was the "hands-only" CPR.

It was Emily's turn to exit.  She'd had enough.  She joined Hannah in the van in the parking lot.

So now it was just the four of us:  the doctor, his assistant, me, and Leah the hamster.

The assistant kept trying to revive Leah.  You really have to imagine what's happening to get the full effect here.  This woman is literally giving CPR to a hamster, while the doctor and I look on, as if this is all quite normal.  "I'm trying, but she's hardly breathing.  I don't think she's getting any better" the assistant said.  The doctor looked at Leah, then back at me, then back at Leah, then back at me.  I realized the final call was up to me.  I had to say it.  Me.  So, I did. "It's OK.  It's time to let her go.  You've done all you could.  Really.  It's time to stop."

So, the assistant laid Leah back down on the stainless steel table and the three of us watched as within seconds she stopped breathing completely.

I realized I was actually lost in the moment when the doctor had to repeat his question to me again, "Did you bring anything to put her in?"  Did I bring anything to put her in?  What does that mean?  And then he said, "Like a shoebox, or something of that nature?"  And then I realized what he meant.  Did I bring anything to put her in, in case she died at the office.  No.  I wasn't planning on her dying at the office.  And I'm pretty sure that if I brought something like that with us my daughters would have been hysterical.

"Well, we do have a small coffin if you'd like it.  It should be just the right size for your hamster." I realize that anyone reading this now must think those last two sentences are absolutely absurd, and I would agree -- but I need to tell you that they didn't sound absurd at the time. 

When you are grieving, even if it's just the life of a hamster, you do things you wouldn't normally do.  At least I did.  I said, "I'll take the coffin."  Now, I had no idea if this coffin was going to cost $10 or $200, I just knew that my daughters were going to be crushed and I wanted to do something, ANYTHING, to make them feel better.

So the doctor's assistant went and got the coffin (satin lined -- remember TRUE story), and he gently laid Leah inside and closed the top.  It actually was just the perfect size.

They sent me back into the waiting room with Leah's empty cage and the coffin, and told me they would add up the bill quickly and let me know.  I braced for impact.  Tried to justify why we would spend a fortune on a hamster.

The assistant called me to the counter and said, "That will be $20.  The doctor is only charging $5 for the office visit.  The little casket is $15."  I gratefully wrote out a check for $20 and gathered all my things and headed for the door.

I walked across the parking lot to the van with an empty cage in one hand, and a small coffin in the other.  As my daughters saw me they could tell by my expression, and the empty cage, that Leah was no longer with us.  And they wept.  And I wept.  In fact, we cried and cried all the way home.  Over a hamster.  A rodent.  Something I would set a trap for if I saw it running around in our house.

What are the spiritual lessons here?  I'm sure there are many.  But probably what I will remember most is the way in which the doctor and his assistant cared for Leah, and in doing so, cared for us.  What would the world be like if everyone cared as they did?  What if we treated everyone we meet as well as they treated a hamster?  I wonder...

Please Don't Ask Me to "Lighten Up"

(I've been sitting on this post for quite some time, debating as to whether or not I should put it "out there."  It's not very uplifting -- but it is real.  And deep, deep down, it truly is filled with hope -- because God is there.  So, for anyone who is interested, here it is...)

I think I've finally accepted the fact that my interior life will always be marked by a general disposition of, well, discontent.   I live with an ongoing, restless longing for something better, something more.  Someone once told me I needed to stop being so "dramatic."  I said I would try.  At that time I believed that I actually had a choice in the way I think and process life. But I'm not so sure anymore.  I'm growing weary of people telling me -- either directly or indirectly -- to be something I'm not. " Lighten up." " Stop thinking so much." "Don't take it all so seriously."  "You've got to let go of the questions."  In other words, stop.  Stop being me.

Instead, I think God is calling me, to be me.  And everything I've experienced, all the people I've met, all the joys and heartaches I've felt, everything I've encountered along my life's journey-- factors into the person I am today.  Because nothing I've experienced has gone unnoticed by God.  Rather, God has been with me through it all and has been using each experience, each person, each struggle, to transform me throughout this journey -- drawing me closer and closer to His Heart, closer and closer to the Image of Jesus Christ.

For some unknown reason, God has made me this way -- with a heart that breaks easily, with a mind that won't stop thinking, and with a soul that is often discontent.  I've met lots of people who are not at all like me.  People who always see the bright side, who come and go with no strings attached, who weather life's storms and come out on the other side without a scratch.  Sometimes I envy these people, I really do. 

And then I've met people who have truly experienced life and know what suffering means.  There's something about a person who has truly experienced suffering.  You can see it in their eyes -- when you look deep enough and long enough.  It is a level of understanding that is almost impossible to describe -- but you know it when you see it.  These are the people I am drawn to, because they don't try to explain life away with easy answers and bumper-sticker phrases. They know better. 

I'm convinced that the most important spiritual insights don't come from reading a great book.  They don't come from listening to stirring sermons.  No, truly deep spiritual insights come from experience -- and usually at great cost.

•  They come when you are scratching and clawing for survival -- just enough strength to make it through another day.  

• They come when your world is as black as night and it seems as though the dawn will never come -- never.  

• They come when you feel trapped in a valley of dust and hopelessness and even when you find the strength to cry out for help, you discover you have no voice, or at least no voice that anyone can understand.  

• They come when you are surrounded by people, loving and caring people,  and yet you feel completely and utterly alone.  

• They come when you doubt everything you've ever believed about yourself -- everything -- and you almost feel as though you will disappear completely.  

• They come when your mind is filled with voices telling you how bad you are, how damaged, inadequate, broken, beyond restoration -- and even when you don't want to listen to them, the tapes keep playing back -- over and over again -- no matter how hard you try to shut them off.

At least, this is when they come to me.  Because this is when God has my full attention.  This is when I realize that I am, in fact, dust.  Everything else is stripped away.  My reputation.  My goals.  My dreams.  My relationships.  My past.  My present.  My future.  A true sense of humility overtakes me.  I have reached the bottom.  There is nothing and no one left.  Except God.

It is in this state that I have come to know and experience freedom for the first time in my life.  Freedom?  Yes, freedom.  Because freedom is knowing that what means the most to you, can never be taken away from you.   

It is in this state when my life verse becomes my life blood:  "Whom have I in heaven but You?  I desire You more than anything on earth.  My health may fail and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart.  He is mine forever."

He is mine FOREVER.  He is yours FOREVER.  Nothing -- NOTHING -- can separate us from His love.

We Really Do Need Each Other

When I was in college I had a VERY brief encounter with the idea that I might be a songwriter. Thankfully that delusion didn't last long, because I think I succeeded in writing a total of 3 or 4 songs on my old Alvarez guitar (which, by the way, is gathering dust right now).

These are the lyrics for one of those songs.  It seems that I have had a lifetime struggle with the whole idea of independence verses community --  hiding verses being transparent -- denial of need verses acceptance of love and support from others.

This is how I expressed that struggle when I was about 19 years old:

We All Need Each Other

We all need each other, we're all sisters and brothers, and our Father put us all together.
But we can spend our lives denying, and just keep on trying
to face life's battles all alone.

We're afraid of trusting our love to another, it hurts so much to be let down.
Sometimes it's easier to hide, and feel lonely inside,
Than to open up our souls.

(Chorus)
But when will we take the hand that's reaching out to us?
When will we understand that it's OK to trust?
If His love abides in us, then we must share it with each other,
And we'll stand strong in Him together.

Still we play our silly games, proving our independence, never admitting we might need them.
So while our brother's holding out his hand, and our sister wants to hold us,
Our foolish pride keeps us all alone.

(Chorus)
Oh when will we take the hand that's reaching out to us?
When will we understand that it's OK to trust?
If His love abides in us, then we must share it with each other,
And we'll stand strong in Him together.
If His love abides in us, then we must share it with each other,
You and I, we'll stand strong together.

After all these years, the struggle continues.  Independence versus community.  Hiding versus being transparent.  And denying the fact that I really do need the love and support of others.  I need you.  And you need me.  That is the way God created us.

I find it much easier to accept the fact that YOU need ME, because that means I'm still in control.  But if I need you as well, then I must lower my defenses and allow you to truly touch my heart, and then you have the power to bruise it or even break it.

And yet, isn't that love?  Isn't that exactly what Jesus did?  My heart is not meant to be whole and perfect -- but wounded and broken.  Because that's where Jesus lives -- in my broken and contrite heart.  That's where His love flows.

Chapel Address: Wednesday, September 5th

Our God is a God of Second Chances

Our theme for this fall semester in chapel is, “Our God is a God of Second Chances,” and there are two points I want to make this morning:

The first is this – before we can talk about how “Our God is a God of Second Chances,” we need to understand that Spiritual Formation is a JOURNEY.  A journey is not just a trip.  A trip is an activity intended to get us from one place to another – from point A to point B, often in the fastest way possible.   We have a destination in mind, so there is no time to deviate from the course.   A trip doesn’t allow for stops along the way to see the world’s largest catsup bottle, or the world’s biggest ball of twine, or stop for pizza at the best pizza place in the U.S. (Giordano’s in Chicago). 

But a JOURNEY is an adventure in itself.  And our spiritual journey is not just the territory between earth and heaven – and us trying to figure out the fastest way to get there.  No, the journey begins when we enter our relationship with God, and it lasts a lifetime – and beyond. 

So, the first point is that our spiritual formation is a journey and it takes time – a LIFETIME – and that’s not only OK, it is how God intended it to be.  Spiritual formation is all about our relationship with God.  There is nothing more important than that.  And the most important things in life take time.

My second point is the introduction to our fall chapel theme, “Our God is a God of Second Chances.”  Along this journey, we all make mistakes.  Some are fairly insignificant.  But some might have major consequences.  When we experience set-backs and failures, we are tempted to give up.  I’ve been tempted – many times – to give up on myself – and even on God.

But God does not give up on us.  God is in this relationship with us for the long haul – eternity, to be exact.  And God knows we will make mistakes.  God knows all about us.  He knows all about your past.  Nothing about you causes God to say, “I’ve had enough of you – you have failed me one too many times,” or ”your situation is just too far gone, too complicated, too horrible.”   No – instead God says, “I love you.  And because I love you, I am not giving up on you.  Nothing is impossible with Me.”

Some of us come from very difficult situations in life.  We may be the cause of many of these difficulties, or by no fault of our own, we have found ourselves wounded, defeated, scarred, abandoned.

But Our God is a God of Second chances.  And God is NOT giving up on you.

So – back to my first point.  This spiritual formation thing – this spiritual journey – is intended to be a lifetime experience.   It’s really not that important where we’re going.  What IS important is what we’re doing, what we’re learning, how we’re growing, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, Who we’re traveling with.  This journey is about our relationship with a loving God, and our openness to His love and all that He wants to teach us and show us.  Much of that takes place through our interaction with the people and the world in which God created us to live and grow. 

But most of us here in this room are Americans.  We want what we want, and we want it now.  We don’t want to have to wait.  We are an instant gratification society.  We deserve it.  We’re entitled.  If you want evidence, just go through the drive-up at a fast food restaurant. 

It’s been documented that if people have to wait longer than 4 minutes at a drive-up they become very impatient.  Average wait times for the major fast food chains are kept across the country.  Here’s who does it the best:

Wendy’s tends to get the highest marks for speed at their drive-up, with an average time of 145.5 seconds from order to delivery.  Taco Bell gets second place with 146.7 seconds.  And McDonald’s has the longest weight time with 184.2 seconds.  But even that is still only slightly over 3 minutes.  And companies are constantly working on ways to improve their drive-thru times, because, in their words, “time is money.”  Seconds shaved off the drive through time translate into millions of dollars.

In America we can get much more than just food at a drive through now.  Prescriptions, banking, liquor, coffee, even drive through weddings.   But I think the most disturbing fact I discovered is that there are funeral homes where mourners can drive through and look at the deceased through their car windows. Drive through visitations.  We are in such a hurry to go – but why?  And where in the world are we going?

In honor of our instant gratification society, “I want it now,” culture I thought I would give away a few things this morning.

  (toy car) – Brittney Gilleland – I heard you wanted a new car, so I got one for you.  It’s a Toyota Prius (sorry, I didn’t buy American) – it’s friendly to the environment, gets great gas mileage.  So, it’s yours.  Enjoy.

 (toy smart phone) – Dan Mays – I heard you really wanted a new smart phone, so I was at the store the other day and saw this phone and thought – “I should get that for Dan.”  So Dan, here you go.  A new smart phone.

 (toy doctor’s kit) – Andrew Mauer – You’re a bio/chem major, right?  Pre-med?  You want to be a medical doctor.  Well, someone told me about your educational plans and I thought, “I can help Andrew.”  So Andrew, I bought you your own doctor’s kit.  It has a stethoscope, and a syringe, and a bunch of other stuff.  And that’s not all.  I knew you would need a diploma from medical school.  So, I printed one out for you – and framed it.  Now I wasn’t sure where you wanted it to come from, so I picked Washington University.  I even had a doctor sign it.  Dr. Christina Smerick.

Brittney – you don’t want a toy car.  You would obviously prefer the real thing.  But the real thing takes work.  Monthly payments.  Insurance.  Gas.  But you probably think it’s worth this extra effort – because it would be a REAL car.

And Dan.  That phone does make some cool noises.  But it won’t make a call.  And it won’t connect you to Facebook or Twitter.  And it won’t keep your schedule, or send and receive emails.  If you want a real smart phone you need to commit, probably to a two year contract, monthly payments.  But your REAL smart phone would be, well, smart.

And Andrew – you won’t get very far with the toy doctor’s kit.  And as much respect as I have for Dr. Smerick, her signature and mine on that fake diploma won’t get you anywhere in the medical field either.  So, if you want the joy and fulfillment of being a doctor, you’re going to have to put in the time and effort.

The most important things in life take time.  Why are we in such a hurry?  And what price are we paying for our impatience?

We are sacrificing relationships, true encounters with real live people, conversations that might start with trivial stuff but end up going much, much deeper.  We are sacrificing significant ways in which God wants to shape and mold us on this journey.

Spiritual Formation is a life-long journey.

You have been given this precious gift of time – these months and years at college.  Use this time in the best possible way.  I really appreciated what President Bergen said on Monday ,and I hope you remember his words, especially when he reminded us that God is bigger than our questions.  We are not being unfaithful if we ask hard questions about God, and about our faith.  In fact, we are learning to LOVE God with our minds when we do this.  We are opening ourselves up to God’s transforming power and grace when we are honest with Him – honest with our questions and wonderings and doubts and fears. 

So ask, seek, explore, engage, take your time on this journey of faith – this lifelong and eternal relationship with God, and others.

And secondly –

God is a God of Second Chances.

You are not defined by your failures.  You are not defined by your past, no matter how good, or bad, it was.  You are not defined by your circumstances in life, by your family, your income, your high school or junior high years, even your time here at Greenville College.  You are defined by God.  And God has made you in His image.  God has a purpose and a plan for you that begins – and ends – with His deep love for you and the potential that exists within you BECAUSE of that love.

Thankfully, God is a God of second chances. 

You don’t have to look very far to see examples of people who failed many times before they ultimately succeeded.    Here’s a short video of several people who failed multiple times, yet we would consider them great successes.

link to YouTube video:

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(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UYMisA--Ms)

This semester we are going to look at examples from God’s Word of people who were definitely a work in progress.  Individuals who were often given not just second chances, but third, fourth and fifth chances from God.  God did not give up on them, but instead saw their potential – knew what they were ultimately capable of.

Individuals like King David.  When he was still a boy, God described David as “a man after God’s own heart.”  And yet David would go on to commit adultery, and then try to conceal this sin by committing another one – murder.  And still, God redeemed David’s life and used him in some incredible ways.

Jesus saw Simon Peter when he was still just a fisherman, and said, “You are Peter – the Rock.”  Peter would go on to deny Christ.  Deny that he even knew the Lord.  But God redeemed Peter.  Jesus saw Peter as he was – but also as he could be.

And so we’re going to look at about ten different individuals throughout Scripture --  women and men.   And we have some wonderful people who will share with us about them, from our own faculty as well as pastors and others.

I encourage you to bring your Bibles to chapel especially on those days so you can follow and take your own notes.  You will no doubt find yourself in many of these stories from Scripture. 

 
Spiritual Formation is a journey.  And we are thankful that you are here on the journey with us for a while.   Be open to the many ways that God wants to transform you along this journey.

And if you have made some poor choices along the way – if you come from difficult circumstances – you’re among good company.

We serve a God who knows and understands, who forgives when we come in true repentance – who is not willing to give up on us.

Our God is a God of Second Chances.