Gaining and Losing - Celebrating the Life of Deb Noyes

Yesterday's chapel was a memorial service, a celebration of the life of one of our faculty members who left Greenville College much too soon.  Even more heartbreaking, she left her family -- her husband and children and grandchildren -- her siblings and her mother.  

Dr. Debra Lynn Noyes died on December 12, 2012

 at the age of 58.   

We chose to have her memorial service during our regular chapel time because she was one of us.  She was a member of the Greenville College community.   And it was only appropriate to celebrate her life during a regular gathering that has helped define Greenville College for over 100 years -- chapel.  

As we gathered yesterday we were reminded that the Greenville College community reaches beyond those of us who currently work and study here (students, faculty, staff and administration) -- but it extends to families, churches, alumni, and friends across the country, and even around the world.  It extends to generations past, and generations to come.  As we gathered to honor and remember Deb, this fact became very clear. 

Unfortunately, the majority of our current students didn't have the privilege of knowing Deb Noyes.  She taught in our Education Department, and unless a student was an Early Childhood major they likely wouldn't have had a class with her.  She was exceptionally kind and patient, treating her students much like her own children, passing on to them her expertise and love for working with the youngest in our school systems.

Many among our faculty didn't have the privilege of knowing Deb very well.  Honestly, we have limited times of interaction with each other.  We gather for Fall Faculty Fellowship before the school year begins, but after those two days we are off and running.  Unless we work in the same building or department, or happen to be on the same committees, it is unlikely that we'll see one another very often. 

And yet, we are all still part of the Greenville College community.  Whether we work in the Education Department, or the Religion/Philosophy Department, in the Dining Commons or the President's Office, we are in this together.  "This" is the Greenville College community.  It's certainly not a perfect place.  And it's certainly not the only place, or the only community to be a part of.   But it's ours.  

And yesterday, it was such an honor to claim Debra Noyes as one of us.  It was such a high privilege for us to know that we're part of the same community from which Deb came, and to which Deb gave so much of herself.  Two of her former students sent letters to be read -- letters that expressed such love and appreciation for all she gave to them, especially the intangible life lessons that they now pass on to their own students.  One former student drove hundreds of miles just to be with us and personally share her story.  And many others are continuing to express the countless ways in which Deb has positively influenced them -- both professionally and personally.

Yesterday was a time to remember the life of Dr. Debra Noyes.  It was a time to celebrate how God has used her life to impact the lives of many, many others.  It was a time to stop and look around at our community -- not just those present at the service, but all those who stand with and for us.  

Most importantly, it was a time to glorify God because this community belongs to Him, and He favored this community by granting us the gift of Debra Noyes.  It was a time to focus upon the fact that Greenville College exists primarily to be a Christ-centered community of faith and learning. We must always remain so.   Jesus Christ must always be at the center.  It is our faith in God that sustains us, and our love for Christ that unites us.  

It was Mark Noyes, Deb's husband, who most powerfully reminded us of that fact.  It was Mark's faith, in the midst of his great loss, that inspired us to have faith and to keep Christ at the center.

And we not only welcome Mark's words, but take them to heart.  Because Mark is an important member of our community, too.  

We will miss you, Deb Noyes.  You were one of us, and you can never, ever,  be replaced.  Our community is forever enriched because of you.  The legacy you leave has eternal value.  Which, of course, is the very best kind.

Who told you that you were special??

"No other person has ever been born - nor will there ever be one - who is just like you.  Yes, God created you to be different from everyone else, and that's why you are special."  

(from an evangelistic track by Good News Publishers)

"You are special.  You are unique.  There is no one else like you. "

Hold it!  Stop the tape!  

With all due respect to Mr. Rogers (I loved him), let's follow this reasoning to it's logical conclusion.  I am special.  I am unique.  God created me to be different from everyone else. There is no one else like me.  No one else who thinks like I do.  No one else who has had the same experiences as me.  No one else who sees the world like I do.  No one who can really understand me.  No one who can truly relate to me.

I am alone.

On the surface, "you are special" seems like a great message.  Who doesn't want to hear that they are special?  Who doesn't want to believe that they are unique?

I've gone through most of my life with an acute awareness of my uniqueness.  In fact, this has led me to believe that there was no one in my life who truly understood me.   No one.  And I've sort of self-righteously attributed that to the fact that I'm special.  I'm unique.  No one else sees the world like I do.  No one has experienced what I've experienced.  Therefore, how could they possibly understand?  I am a deep ocean.  I am an impenetrable fortress.  No one can fathom the mystery of "me."  

REALLY???  Where in the world did THAT come from?? First of all, it's not as if people are lining up for the chance to explore the depths of me!  I am under no such delusions!  But secondly (and much more importantly) I'm just not as unique as I thought I was.  Which is actually a bit painful to admit -- and humbling. 


I do believe that God created each of us with unique personalities and characteristics.   Trust me.  I've taken the major personality tests -- the MBTI, the MMPI, the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, the 16PF (I majored in Psychology).   I've taken the Strengthsfinder, and several spiritual gifts inventories. 

With the Psalmist, I overwhelmingly affirm that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" by our Creator. I know that we come from diverse backgrounds and life experiences, and these all shape who we are today.

But I've lived long enough to encounter hundreds of people.  And I've had the privilege of hearing the stories of dozens and dozens.  The more I hear, the more convinced I am of our similarities, not our differences.  We share so much in common with each other.   Sure, we're "packaged" differently -- introvert or extrovert, ruled by our heads or ruled by our hearts, go with the flow or stick to the schedule.  And life experiences have forever changed us -- in some cases, dramatically. 

Yes, we are all unique.  AND, we are all alike.

I think it's time to stop playing the  "you are special, you are unique" tape over and over again.  At least in my case, I've heard it enough. 

Instead, maybe we should play the "we belong to one another in Christ so we should strive to be of one mind and heart" tape more. 

Because as followers of Jesus Christ, we really do belong to one another.  Which means we have a GREAT DEAL in common.  But are we still special?  We're created in God's Image -- of course we're special!  We're just not alone.