To Be Known

Room 412, bed A.  That's who I was this past week.  A room number, a bed, a blood pressure reading, a heart rate, a temperature, a pulse.  I even had a bar code on my hospital armband.  They scanned the bar code, and then scanned the medications I was to receive.  I was a series of numbers.  The hospital staff certainly cared about my numbers -- but I was a series of numbers, nonetheless.

Until someone came to visit.  Then, I was a person.  A person that someone else took the time to visit.  A person that someone drove over an hour to see.  A person with hopes and dreams, kids I miss, favorite movies, Scripture passages that especially speak to me, people I love and people who love me.  The only number these visitors wanted was my room number, so they could find me -- so they could see ME.  I was a person!

My experience this past week has caused me to yearn for something more and more.  I feel this yearning both when I'm alone, and when I'm among friends.  I yearn to be known.  Really known.  I yearn for someone to know me fully, completely, in every way.  I yearn for someone to truly know my heart.

How ironic is that?  Especially when I have a doctor who knows my physical heart very well.  He has literally been in my heart three times -- well, with a camera, but he has seen it all.  He's watched it at work, pumping from one chamber to the next.  He knows the areas that are damaged -- wounded -- not doing their part.   He is going back in again to figure out which part of this vital muscle in me is "impatient" -- triggering a beat too soon and throwing off the whole rhythm.  And I am very grateful that this man knows so much about my physical heart.

But my soul -- my spirit -- longs to be known.  And there is only One who can truly know me.  Only One who  "searches me and knows me -- when I sit and when I rise -- perceiving my thoughts from afar -- discerning my going out and my lying down -- familiar with all my ways" (Psalm 139).  Only the Lord knows my true heart, everything about me, the good and the bad, the weaknesses and failures, the fears and doubts, the regrets and disappointments.  Only the Lord really understands what brings me joy or what I am truly passionate about.

I am so thankful for my brothers and sisters in Christ.  I am so thankful that God has called us to love and care for one another.  I am so thankful for all those who love me and who allow me the privilege of returning that love.

But at the end of the day,  I am listening for the Shepherd's voice.  I am listening for the One Who knows me by name and calls for me to come. Come and be held.  Come and be known.  Come and be loved.