"My Place in This World"

Place in This World
Michael W. Smith 

"The wind is moving, but I am standing still; A life of pages, waiting to be filled.
A heart that's hopeful, a head that's full of dreams. But this becoming is harder than it seems.

Feels like I'm looking for a reason, roamin' through the night to find my place in this world,
My place in this world.
Not a lot to lean on, I need your light to help me find my place in this world,
My place in this world.

If there are millions down on their knees, among the many can you still hear me?
Hear me asking, Where do I belong?  Is there a vision that I can call my own?

I'm looking for a reason, roamin' through the night to find my place in this world,
My place in this world.
Not a lot to lean on, I need your light to help me find my place in this world,
My place in this world."


Michael W. Smith released this song in 1990.  And when I heard it, I felt that finally, FINALLY, someone understood.  Michael had voiced the inner cry of my heart, and I would stick his cassette tape into my player and sing this song at the top of my voice (when I was alone, of course) and feel, at least for a few minutes, like I was understood.

That was 22 years ago, and I was still in my 20's (barely).  I had been out of college for years, married, and in ministry.  Yet I was still restless -- still struggling to find MY place in this world.   Insecure, deathly afraid of failing or disappointing others, way too vulnerable, with a heart that would break way too easily -- and yet I masterfully hid most of these feelings from almost everyone.

Until I could find some time alone, and then Michael and I would sing this song "together" -- and I would pour out my heart to God:  "I'm looking for a reason, roaming through the night to find my place in this world...not a lot to lean on, I need Your light to help me find my place in this world."  And by the time I reached that line, I was in tears, desperate for some peace and assurance that God still loved me.  God still had a plan for me.  God had not given up on me.

Now I am in my 50's (barely) and I think I have finally found my place in this world.  It's not a physical location.  It's not a place of employment or ministry.  It's not my vocation or calling.  It's not even a group of people or the community of faith.

 It's right here.  It's with me all the time.  It's always been here.  It is WITHIN.

"Deep within us all there is an amazing inner sanctuary of the soul, a holy place, a Divine Center, a speaking Voice, to which we may continuously return.  Eternity is at our hearts, pressing upon our time-torn lives, warming us with intimations of an astounding destiny, calling us home unto Itself." (Thomas Kelly)

I am speaking of the Presence of the Holy Spirit, but in a deeper way than I have ever experienced before this past year.  My "place in this world," my place of peace, comfort, assurance, hope, unconditional love, is right here -- "an amazing inner sanctuary of the soul, a holy place."  This is the place where God speaks most intimately to me.  This is the place where God holds me and shelters me and reminds me that I belong to Him and that NOTHING will change that.  This is the place where God whispers my name and delights in me because He created me. 

Where is YOUR place in this world?  My prayer is that you would stop searching all around, and simply look deep within, where the Lord is calling you HOME. 

"For we are so preciously loved by God that we cannot even comprehend it.  No created being can ever know how much and how sweetly and tenderly God loves them. " (Julian of Norwich)

"I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power...to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:17-19)