"I never played the game, but let me tell you..."

Competitive sports are not character building.  They are character revealing.

I feel the need to issue a disclaimer first.  The sum total of my personal experience in organized, competitive sports consists of playing summer softball with the local park district and junior high volleyball -- and I wasn't very good at either one.  I also want to say that some of my closest friends are coaches, and I have the highest respect for them because they truly demonstrate the character traits that I pray my children will also develop.

Instead, most of my experience with organized, competitive sports is vicarious -- as a spectator, and probably more importantly, as a mom.   Those who compete and coach could argue that I don't have a right to comment about this topic.  That I just don't "get" it.  Perhaps.  But I've been doing A LOT of observing.  And I've collected TONS of completely non-scientific data on the subject. 

I've been immersed in the sports culture ever since my son was old enough to kick a soccer ball and hold a bat.  When my two daughters entered the sports world, my investment of time increased exponentially.  I've sat in the bleachers of gyms and football and soccer fields all over southern Illinois.

We start them out young.  Before they are even capable of understanding the rules of the "game" we have them out in it - running and throwing and catching and hitting - some doing it better than others, for sure.

And then we sign them up for a team.  I think it begins here.  Organized athletics start to reveal a bit of who we really are, our true character.  We start to compare.  And we start to place more value on the kids who display more skill.  They are now somehow more important.  Which means other kids are less important.  We've now demonstrated to our kids what we truly value -- their athletic ability.  It might be subtle at first, but kids get it.  They know. And they remember.

Sports are only tools.  They are tools consisting of balls, bats, gloves, shoulder pads, knee pads, bases, goal posts, pucks and nets.  They are tools used on fields of grass, or wooden floors, or sheets of ice.  They are tools with books that explain how to use them properly and what to do when they are used improperly.  They are neither inherently good -- or bad.

Just like any tool, they can be used to build or to tear down.  However unlike most other tools, the building up and tearing down refers to people -- human beings -- often children or adolescents.  And THAT'S the problem.  Too many of us don't get that.

These tools are placed in the hands of coaches and players and referees and umpires and judges.  And then the rest of us watch them use the tools and we make our own judgments about how they're doing -- parents, grandparents, and others.

Character is revealed all along the line.  

Character is revealed in the coaches.  Is their primary goal to develop PLAYERS, or PEOPLE? What do they value the most?  At the end of the day, or the end of their coaching career, what will matter the most?  The win/loss record?  Or all the kids they had the privilege of knowing, who looked up to them for guidance and advice, who became better people because of them?

Character is revealed in the players.  How do they treat one another?  What do they say to each other in the locker room, on the bench, on the playing field?  Do those with more "skill" feel more important?  How do the starters treat those who sit on the bench?  And how do the bench players treat the starters? 

Character is revealed in the spectators -- parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, friends -- before, during and after the game.  Do our kids hear at least as much praise from us when they demonstrate compassion and humility as when they play well in a game?  Do they know that we value them for who they are INSIDE far more than what they can do OUTSIDE on the court or the field?  And what about our behavior as spectators?  Is it really OK to loudly demonstrate our disagreement with a referee's call during a game?  I know that it's become an accepted practice in our society.    I also know that I'VE done it myself on occasion.  But is it right??  What does it reveal about our character?  People are watching us.  Our children are watching us.  What are we teaching them? 

Sports are not character building -- they are character revealing.

Sports are tools, and in the hands of the right people, those who aspire to develop good character traits, they can be very useful.  People help other people develop good character.  Coaches, parents, mentors, teachers, grandparents, youth pastors, friends.

I am praying that God will help me see EACH player as His priceless child, and EACH coach as God's instrument -- one who is investing a great deal of time and energy into our children.   I am praying that He will constantly remind me that it really is more than just a game. Because our children are being formed and changed.


I am praying God will help me see all coaches, players, referees, and spectators as PEOPLE first.

People -- equally loved and valued by God.  Not because of what they DO, but because of who they ARE.  God's children.

And as God's children -- the playing field is completely level.