Rejoicing At My Incompetence!

“Theological formation is the gradual and often painful discovery of God's incomprehensibility. You can be competent in many things, but you cannot be competent in God.” 

(Henri Nouwen)

I love learning.  When I'm doing any kind of research on a topic (even if it's just to decide on a convection oven), it will often lead to another topic (how does convection technology really work?) and another (who founded the KitchenAid company?) and another (what happens to food when it is microwaved vs baked?).  If I'm not careful, an hour or two can pass by rather quickly.  For those who know about Gallop's Strengths, the answer is yes, I have "Input."


I love learning about God.  Something within me comes "alive" as I'm learning about theology and spiritual formation.  I love the study of Scripture.  The process of digging into a Biblical text with good commentaries is so energizing to me,  revealing truths about God that I never knew before. 


I am privileged to work at a Christian liberal arts college where learning is seen as an act of worship, and intellectual development is encouraged as a way to love God with our minds.  Jesus affirmed this when He reminded the Pharisees to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" (Matthew 22:37).


I rejoice with my colleagues when students truly engage in learning.  I'm all in!  And I'm so thankful for the privilege of teaching because it allows me to be a part of the process. The added bonus is that I get to learn as well.


But in my quest to learn, in my sincere effort to KNOW God, and in my seemingly relentless pursuit to try to figure out everything I can about God, I sometimes forget this most important truth:

 "You can be competent in many things, but you cannot be competent in God."

At the end of the day, there is no theological framework, no philosophical argument, no scientific formula, to fully explain God.  In fact, at the end of the day, our human attempts at explaining God are feeble, at best (destructive, at worst).


Rather, at the end of the day, I think it's the poets and song writers who do it best.  They are the "wordsmiths" who capture the emotions that I hope and pray I will always have when I truly consider who God is.


While I still love the great hymns of the church,  I also appreciate the worship songs of today.  Some are better than others (which is also true of hymns), but most of the time these songs truly bring me into the Presence of God. 


These are the songs that use words like "amazing," and "indescribable."  They cry out,  "I'm desperate for You!  I'm lost without You!"  They remind me of the important truths I need to hear, such as "oh, how He loves us," and "You never let go, in every high and every low.  Lord, You never let go of me."


Here is yet another place where our college students often become my teachers.  I love to watch them as they worship the Lord with sincere abandon.  I am humbled and encouraged as they proclaim their undivided love for Jesus Christ.


I love learning about God.  But I want to fully embrace the fact that I CANNOT BE COMPETENT IN GOD.  I want to remain IN AWE.  I want to stay AMAZED.

  AMAZED          

You dance over me,
While I am unaware.
You sing all around,
But I never hear the sound.
Lord, I'm amazed by you
Lord, I'm amazed by you
Lord, I'm amazed by you
How you love me.

How wide, how deep, how great is your love for me!

(Phillips, Craig & Dean)     

Hurry is not OF the Devil; it IS the Devil

"In contemporary society our Adversary majors in three things: noise, hurry, and crowds.  If he can keep us engaged in 'muchness' and 'manyness,' he will rest satisfied.  Psychiatrist Carl Jung once remarked, 'Hurry is not of the Devil; it is the Devil.'"
~ Richard Foster

Years ago, a colleague (who was also my supervisor) once told me to "be productive."  It was right after I told her I'd spent three hours talking with one student.  It was a conversation that led to the student sharing some deeply personal issues with me -- issues that had been preventing the student from fully accepting God's love and forgiveness. 

"Be productive."  I guess a three-hour conversation with just one student might not be perceived as "productive."  In my colleague's defense, I know her statement wasn't meant to devalue the student in any way.  But it was meant to remind me that we live in a society that rewards productivity.  People who appear to be engaged in "muchness" and "manyness" are the productive ones.  They are accomplishing things.

"Be productive."  I've thought about that statement many times.  Is productivity really our goal?   What is it that we're trying to accomplish?  What does productivity really mean?  And to what end? 

Most of us live according to society's definition of productivity which is almost exclusively external. We want to be able to measure productivity and compare it to others.  We want something objective and concrete to show at the end of the day.  Numbers.  Charts.  Graphs. 


But how do you measure someone's soul?  How do you measure their spirit?  What does productivity look like from God's perspective?

Scripture certainly speaks to this issue.  To me it seems clear that God's idea of success and productivity is quite different from what our culture might suggest.  And yet what our culture most desperately needs is only found in what God can provide.  

"Our world is hungry for genuinely changed people.  Leo Tolstoy observes, 'Everybody thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself.'  Let us be among those who believe that the inner transformation of our lives is a goal worthy of our best effort."  ~Richard Foster

Do we truly value the inner transformation of our lives?  Or have we simply adopted the values of our society?  Do we reflect daily patterns that are different from the world around us, or have we just fallen in line with everyone else?

As followers of Jesus Christ, the inner transformation of our lives should be a goal worthy of our VERY BEST efforts.  And that means time spent in prayer and meditating on God's Word is very productive time. 

We need to redefine productivity. 

What if we decided that time spent in God's Presence was actually the most productive use of our time?  That time spent at the feet of Jesus was as valuable, as productive, as anything else we could do?  What if we valued the inner transformation of our souls above all other goals in life?


Our adversary, the devil, delights in the fact that we are too busy to notice our inner lives.  We are too busy to notice our emptiness.  Our Shepherd is calling us but we're surrounded by so much noise and activity that we can no longer hear His voice. 

During this Lenten season, let's redefine what it means to be productive.

Stop.  Listen.  The God of the Universe is speaking to us. 

"Rainy Days and Mondays," - Lessons from Karen Carpenter

Last Monday marked the 30th anniversary of Karen Carpenter's death.  Most of the people I associate with every day have never heard of Karen Carpenter because she lived, and died, long before they were even born.  They might recognize a song or two if they hear it playing on an oldies station, or in their parent's car.  

But for me (and many others over the age of 40) Karen Carpenter was a friend.  I never met her, but she was with me throughout my adolescent and young adult years.  Singing along with the Carpenters was almost a religious experience for me.  It was inspirational.  It was therapeutic.  It gave me an outlet to express the chaotic emotions within my young heart.  Listening to the Carpenters was worth the ridicule I endured from my friends who preferred hard rock, disco and punk music.   The Carpenters produced "soft rock," and Karen's incredible voice often soothed my soul.

She died the same year I graduated from college.  Along with her other fans, I was stunned.   But it was the cause of her death that was the most shocking.  At the age of 32, Karen Carpenter died of cardiac arrest brought on by the effects of anorexia nervosa.  She died of an eating disorder that had received very little public attention prior to her death.  Karen Carpenter leaves at least two profound legacies behind:  her music, and the ways in which her death have helped millions of young people who now benefit from the resources invested in the diagnosis and prevention of eating disorders.  Ever since Karen Carpenter's death in 1983, doctors, scientists and therapists (among many others) have intensified their efforts to uncover the causes and potential ways to prevent this deadly disorder.

Karen Carpenter was a huge success -- but a troubled soul.  She had everything -- yet was still unhappy.  She was extremely talented and ambitious -- and yet so insecure.  She was sweet and outgoing -- but inside she was fighting a silent war.

She was not unlike many of us.  And that is one of the many reasons I am still drawn to her and her story.   I still feel like she is my friend.  I want to learn from her.  I want to see the signs that others missed.  I'm sure they're all around me.  People who appear to have everything, and yet deep within a war is raging.  I know this is true of many of our students.  They carry such huge burdens, such deep insecurities.  But it's also true of those of us whose job it is to "have it all together."

I know that it is ONLY by God's grace and mercy that the internal battles can finally cease.  It it only when our Savior speaks to the waves, "Be still," that the storm subsides and we can experience true peace.  I don't know if Karen ever experienced that kind of peace. 

I've been reading through the lyrics of many of the songs that Karen sang.  She wasn't a songwriter, so technically these are not her words.  But when I hear her sing them, they become her words to me.  Here's several lines from a few of her songs.  The last song ("Sometimes") is my absolute favorite.  When I see these lyrics I don't read them -- I listen as Karen sings them.  And I'm carried away by her voice...

TOP OF THE WORLD

Such a feelin's comin' over me
There is wonder in most everything I see
Not a cloud in the sky
Got the sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream
Everything I want the world to be
Is now coming true especially for me
And the reason is clear
It's because you are here
You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen
I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

RAINY DAYS AND MONDAYS

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit, nothin' ever seems to fit
Hangin' around, nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong, feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around, some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

YESTERDAY ONCE MORE

When I was young
I'd listen to the radio
Waitin' for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile.
Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well.

SOMETIMES

Sometimes
not often enough
We reflect upon the good things
And those thoughts always center around
those we love
And I think about those people
who mean so much to me
And for so many years have made me
so very happy
And I count the times I have forgotten to say
'thank you'
And just how much
I love them

"Sometimes" performed by the Carpenters (a very old video!)

I love this last song, "Sometimes."  It is sweet and simple, and it gently reminds us that PEOPLE matter the most in our lives.  And we need to tell them that.  We need to love them enough to take the time and find the ways to get below the surface -- we might find a very troubled soul in need of God's grace and mercy.

The Most Excellent Way

(Here's Part 2 of the Chapel address I gave last Wednesday)
 
Our chapel theme for the spring semester is “Our God is a God of Relationships.”  As I was thinking and praying about this theme, I wanted to find a Biblical framework – a Scriptural template -- to help guide us in all our relationships. 

What should our relationships look like?  What are the guiding principles?  If God is a God of Relationships, what does that mean?  

At the risk of oversimplification, I think the answer is pretty obvious:  

 We need to love each other. 

Love.  THAT is the guiding principle.  God’s design for our relationships is that we would love each other. 

There is no better way. 

There is no easier way.

Choose love, and you will be choosing God’s plan for relationships.  

We have made “love” a pretty nebulous term.  We “love” chocolate chip ice cream.  We “love” coffee.  We fall in – and out – of love.  We love our friends.  We love the person we're dating.  And we love God. 

What is love? 

In the New Testament, toward the end of his first letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul intentionally drops this incredibly poetic and profound text.

He is writing to a church -- the church located in the city of Corinth.  It is a troubled city  and a troubled church.  It’s important to note, however, that many of the problems plaguing this first century church are problems that we continue to struggle with today.

Paul spent much of his letter addressing the problems in this church.  There were huge divisions among them, and they were taking sides.  Arguments gave way to jealousy.  They were suing each other.  And there was even sexual immorality.  Imagine that – a group of believers, followers of Jesus Christ – struggling with sin, and struggling to get along (note the sarcasm:)

So in this letter Paul is instructing and correcting them.  He gives specific direction in a number of areas, including what they should eat, whether or not they should marry, and how and when they should exercise the various spiritual gifts.

In the middle of all his specific counsel and correction and confrontation– in the middle of all the nitty gritty stuff of life in the church – Paul issues this most profound proclamation:

“And now, I will show you the most excellent way.”

“The Most Excellent Way.” 

And then, Paul describes LOVE.

Not as a feeling.  Not as something you “fall into” or “out of.”  No. 

Love is a choice.  Love is an action.  Love is an act of the will. 

We often hear this passage at weddings as a template for a good marriage.  Indeed it is.  But that was not it’s original intent.  Paul wrote this to the church, to followers of Jesus.  This is how WE are to treat one another.

I only have time to briefly focus on five verses in this chapter, verses 4 – 8.  But I’d like to suggest that these five verses are enough -- MORE than enough.  If we’re looking for a passage of Scripture to help guide us in all our relationships, this is the passage. 

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”

  

In this passage, Paul describes both what love IS, and what love is NOT.  What love DOES, and what love DOES NOT do.

Love IS – patient

Love IS – kind

Love is NOT – envious

Love is NOT – boastful

Love is NOT – proud

Love is NOT – rude

Love is NOT – self-seeking

Love is NOT – easily angered

Love DOES NOT – keep a record of wrongs

Love DOES NOT – delight in evil

Love DOES – rejoice with the truth

Love ALWAYS – protects

Love ALWAYS – trusts

Love ALWAYS – hopes

Love ALWAYS – perseveres

Love NEVER – fails

These are choices.  Decisions we make to act, or not act, in a certain way.  Not just once, but over and over again.  Until eventually they become habits.  And then habits become character traits.  Until finally, they become who we are.

And there you have it.  That’s what it means to love one another.  That’s what love looks like – from the Apostle Paul’s point of view – and from God’s point of view. 

We can only love like this in and through the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  It is God’s Spirit – the Holy Spirit – working in us and through us, molding us, transforming us. 

When I try to love others simply with my own human capacity to love, my love always falls short.  My love is always conditional. 

But the more I allow the love of God to fill me and complete me, the better able I am to truly love other people.

It is a lifelong process.  And it is only through God’s grace and mercy – only through the unconditional love and forgiveness extended to me through Christ that I am enabled to even begin to love like this.

And yet, it’s what the Lord is calling all of us to do.  Love God with all our hearts.  And truly love each other.  

Just think what it would be like if all of us who claim to be followers of Jesus reflected this kind of love in all our relationships. 

Just think.

This kind of love brings life.  This kind of love brings healing.  This kind of love brings hope. 

This is the kind of love the world needs.

And these are the kinds of relationships that God is calling us to have.

"You Complete Me?" - The Problem with Jerry MaGuire

(This is part one of a chapel address I gave on Wednesday, with slight editing.  If you're interested, I'm going to post part two later:)

“Jerry MaGuire” came out in 1996, grossing over $250 million.  It was a romantic comedy/drama/sports film (something for everyone) starring Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger (Cuba Downy, Jr. won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in the film).  “Jerry” (played by Tom Cruise) and “Dorothy” (played by Renee Zellweger) get married, but their marriage is really one of convenience, not love (at least on Jerry’s part).  They almost break up, until Jerry finally realizes that he does indeed love Dorothy, and he comes back to “reclaim” her in this scene:

Jerry MaGuire - "You Had Me At Hello"

“You had me at ‘hello’”.  What a great line.  I love that line.  Songs have been written using that line.  After all of Jerry’s pleading and explaining and justifying, Dorothy interrupts – “Shut up.  Shut up.  You had me at 'hello'.  You had me at 'hello'.”

But it’s actually Jerry’s line that interests me more. 

“You complete me,”  He says to Dorothy.  “You complete me.”

Think about that line.  Think about the implications of that line.  “You complete me” implies that I was not already complete.  I need YOU – my perfect match.

“You complete me,” as if before you came into my life, I was not a whole person.  But now, with you in my life, finally, there is meaning.  Purpose. There is joy, happiness, fulfillment.  You – this person now in my life – you complete me.

Well, if that’s the case, it seems the best use of our time would be to go out and search for that one who completes us, right?  We need to find them!  If you’re not married, if you haven’t found “the one,” you’re going around as a half-person! 

And what if you don’t find them?  Does that mean you are doomed to live the rest of your life as an incomplete, half-person, full of holes?

OK, I might be exaggerating a little bit.   But just a little. 

Our culture perpetuates it.  “Jerry Maguire” is just one example of hundreds of Hollywood films and TV shows where the woman – or man – is in need of “rescuing.”  Now, I love movies.  If you know me at all, you know that much!  And I like a good romantic comedy.  But most of them follow the same, “You complete me” formula.  The main characters walk around miserable and lonely until they finally find each other.  And before the movie ends (within 90-120 minutes) they do, and then all is well!  A happy ending.

To one degree or another, many of us believe in the formula.  We are waiting, hoping, to find our completeness in someone else.

Maybe we’re waiting for a spouse – waiting to find the perfect person to marry – and expecting that person to fulfill us, to complete us.

Or maybe we’re looking to other relationships to complete us.  Friends.  Family.  Teachers.  Pastors.  Mentors.  Brothers and Sisters in Christ. 

We are certainly relational beings.  God has designed us that way.  We need each other.  I would be the first to agree with that statement.  We need the community.  We need the Body of Christ. 

But if you enter ANY relationship – dating, friendship, marriage – expecting that person to fulfill your deepest needs, you will be terribly disappointed.  Maybe not right away, but eventually it will happen. 

Because the deepest needs of the human soul cannot be met by other people.

Our goal is NOT to find the one person who completes us.  Truthfully, there isn’t a person on the planet who completes you or me.  That person simply doesn’t exist.

No person can fulfill the deepest needs of your heart.  No person can fulfill the deepest longings of your soul.  No.  That place is reserved for God and God alone. 

And if you continue to search for PEOPLE to meet those deepest needs, not only will you be disappointed, but your relationships will not be healthy ones. 

Henri Nouwen, in his book The Return of the Prodigal Son, demonstrates a key limitation of human relationships and human love.  It is always based upon conditions.  "I will love you IF..."  or, "I will continue to love you AS LONG AS..."

“As long as I keep running about asking: ‘Do you love me?  Do you really love me?’ I give all the power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with ‘ifs.’  The world says: ‘Yes, I love you IF you are good- looking, intelligent, and wealthy.  I love you IF you have a good education, a good job, and good connections.  I love you IF you produce much, sell much, and buy much’

"There are endless ‘ifs’ hidden in the world’s love.  These ‘ifs’ enslave me since it is impossible to respond adequately to all of them.  The world’s love is and always will be conditional…what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest craving of my heart.”

“ I search for unconditional love where it cannot be found.  Why do I keep ignoring the place of true love and persist in looking for it elsewhere?  Why do I keep leaving home where I am called a child of God, the beloved of my Father?”

The goods news is that God CAN meet those needs.  God CAN fulfill the deepest longings of your soul.  And when He does -- when God meets our deepest needs – when we seek God’s love and acceptance FIRST --  then we are able to engage in more healthy relationships with others. 

We need to find our “home” with our Heavenly Father.  We need to find our “completeness” in God’s love for us, because we are God’s beloved FIRST. God "completes" us -- on every level.