Rejoicing At My Incompetence!

“Theological formation is the gradual and often painful discovery of God's incomprehensibility. You can be competent in many things, but you cannot be competent in God.” 

(Henri Nouwen)

I love learning.  When I'm doing any kind of research on a topic (even if it's just to decide on a convection oven), it will often lead to another topic (how does convection technology really work?) and another (who founded the KitchenAid company?) and another (what happens to food when it is microwaved vs baked?).  If I'm not careful, an hour or two can pass by rather quickly.  For those who know about Gallop's Strengths, the answer is yes, I have "Input."


I love learning about God.  Something within me comes "alive" as I'm learning about theology and spiritual formation.  I love the study of Scripture.  The process of digging into a Biblical text with good commentaries is so energizing to me,  revealing truths about God that I never knew before. 


I am privileged to work at a Christian liberal arts college where learning is seen as an act of worship, and intellectual development is encouraged as a way to love God with our minds.  Jesus affirmed this when He reminded the Pharisees to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" (Matthew 22:37).


I rejoice with my colleagues when students truly engage in learning.  I'm all in!  And I'm so thankful for the privilege of teaching because it allows me to be a part of the process. The added bonus is that I get to learn as well.


But in my quest to learn, in my sincere effort to KNOW God, and in my seemingly relentless pursuit to try to figure out everything I can about God, I sometimes forget this most important truth:

 "You can be competent in many things, but you cannot be competent in God."

At the end of the day, there is no theological framework, no philosophical argument, no scientific formula, to fully explain God.  In fact, at the end of the day, our human attempts at explaining God are feeble, at best (destructive, at worst).


Rather, at the end of the day, I think it's the poets and song writers who do it best.  They are the "wordsmiths" who capture the emotions that I hope and pray I will always have when I truly consider who God is.


While I still love the great hymns of the church,  I also appreciate the worship songs of today.  Some are better than others (which is also true of hymns), but most of the time these songs truly bring me into the Presence of God. 


These are the songs that use words like "amazing," and "indescribable."  They cry out,  "I'm desperate for You!  I'm lost without You!"  They remind me of the important truths I need to hear, such as "oh, how He loves us," and "You never let go, in every high and every low.  Lord, You never let go of me."


Here is yet another place where our college students often become my teachers.  I love to watch them as they worship the Lord with sincere abandon.  I am humbled and encouraged as they proclaim their undivided love for Jesus Christ.


I love learning about God.  But I want to fully embrace the fact that I CANNOT BE COMPETENT IN GOD.  I want to remain IN AWE.  I want to stay AMAZED.

  AMAZED          

You dance over me,
While I am unaware.
You sing all around,
But I never hear the sound.
Lord, I'm amazed by you
Lord, I'm amazed by you
Lord, I'm amazed by you
How you love me.

How wide, how deep, how great is your love for me!

(Phillips, Craig & Dean)