Honestly, I want to be bored...

I guess I was naive.  You see, I assumed that as I got older, the world would start to make more sense to me.  There would be fewer questions.  The clouds would slowly disappear and the bright sun would dissolve all the shadows -- the questions, the inconsistencies, the uncertainties.

I assumed that all my experiences (some of which have been more painful than I care to admit), would not only have helped prepare me for any future struggles, but would have also granted me a sort of "protective wisdom" for my mind and heart.  A wisdom that carefully deflected any unsettling information because, of course, I've already been down most of those roads before so there is no need for me to face the pain and discomfort again.  I've already learned the lessons.  I will prayerfully and lovingly sit with others who are going down these paths.  In fact, it will be my honor to travel with them.  But spare me the internal dissonance and in-congruence. I've been there.  I've done that.



In short, I assumed I would find the "settledness" that had eluded me for most of my life.  Not just answers to the deeper questions, but also a sense of peace concerning the ones that cannot be answered.  I assumed that by this time I might even be a little bored, and would need to seek ways to keep my mind engaged.


Nope.  But I wish.

As I look around at my closest traveling companions on this journey of faith, some of them are pretty settled.  Some are not.  I am blessed to have both kinds in my life.

But I am MOST blessed to have those who will put up with all my "unsettledness" -- the ones who will sit with me and listen to my questions, and who don't bail when we disagree or when the questions become uncomfortable, or when they hit too close to home.  The ones who will love me enough to listen, and to push back.  Those fellow travelers, those fellow followers of Jesus Christ, are rare and priceless gifts.

There is no shortage of "experts" in our world today.  There is no shortage of people who will tell you what to believe on any and every issue.  People who will tell you how Christians should act, what Christians should believe, how Christians should worship, how Christians should vote, who Christians should marry, where Christians should live, how Christians should spend their money, what movies Christians should see, what movies Christians should NOT see, what Christians should drive, what Christians should eat, etc., etc.



So who's right?  Who is the REAL expert?  It depends upon who you ask.  So, instead of agreeing or disagreeing with the experts, I'd rather affirm a Truth.  What should Christians do? 

 Christians should love.  

 In an attempt to discredit Jesus, to test Him with a trick question, the Pharisees asked Him to pick out the greatest commandment in the Law.  This was His reply:

 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." 

And interestingly, even though they didn't ask Him for the second greatest, He gave that to them as well:

"Love your neighbor as yourself." 

In all my unsettledness, I have become more and more settled upon this all-important truth for MY life -- I want to follow Jesus Christ.  I want to follow this miraculous Human Being, God "in the flesh,"  who changed all of history.  

I would really like to be bored.  But I'm not sure that's an option for me.  I don't feel as though God has granted me permission to stop asking questions. Even if it hurts.  Even if I'm wrong.  Even if I'm right.

It can seem very lonely at times.   But I'm becoming more and more convinced that I'm really not that alone. I'm pretty sure there are others out there who are finding "settledness" an elusive dream.  We will probably not all agree on the answers to the questions.  For that matter, we won't all agree on which questions even need to be asked.

But as followers of Jesus Christ, we can agree to love Him -- and to love one another.   In fact, on this we MUST agree.