Permission to be human...

I am so thankful to my brothers and sisters in the faith who have 

granted me the grace to be, well, a human being.

To Henri Nouwen who gives me permission to FEEL, and feel DEEPLY.  When I read Nouwen's works I am less alone with these feelings because Nouwen understands and is somehow able to beautifully articulate exactly what I am experiencing (how does he do that?). Nouwen confirms what I want to believe -- what I NEED to believe -- that feelings of despair and depression and loneliness are not wrong or evil, they just ARE.  And while God can and will teach me a great deal from difficult times, emotional pain is real, it's a part of my faith journey, and I don't have to deny it or "get over it." I can still love Jesus and still be His follower in the midst of these feelings.



To Richard Middleton who gives me permission to read the Bible and enter into the story and discover, once again, that the Bible is an account of real people with real struggles who were desperately trying to figure out how to follow God in the midst of the battle.  In his chapel address entitled, "Can We Trust God In the Midst of Radical Disappointment," he demonstrated that yes, indeed, we can trust God, AND we can be brutally honest with God as well.  Jeremiah certainly was.  So was David.  And Job.   And many others.  I am so very thankful for permission to be brutally honest with God.






To Rachel Held Evans and others who have given me permission to THINK and ASK QUESTIONS and be UNSETTLED most of the time.  Honestly, there are many days when I would love to be settled.  There are times when I long for all the "right" answers.  But I long to be honest and transparent with God more.  I long to be filled with His love and compassion more.  I long to be moved by what moves Jesus more.  I long for these things far more than I long for settledness.  At least in this life.













There are others in my life who give me permission to be a human being.  They are true gifts from God.  They are truly my brothers and sisters in Christ.  They don't try to fix me, or move on quickly to the "application" phase of my journey ("So, what is God trying to teach you through this?")

Instead, they allow me to be me, while together we turn towards Jesus Christ.  And I am most thankful that we serve a God Who knows what it is like to be us -- who knows what it is like to be a human being.