I Have Sinned...

 The Church is in need of healing.  Desperately.  But I don't think it's physical healing that we need.  Our most severe wounds are not skin deep.  They go much, much deeper than these earthly temples in which we live -- much deeper than flesh and blood.  Our wounds are deep within where it is dark and somewhat frightening -- almost too dark and frightening to talk about.  We need a healing -- a healing of our souls.  

When I was growing up we lived just a few blocks from a large Roman Catholic church and school, and many of my childhood friends were Catholic.  My family was Lutheran.  I remember on Saturday mornings my Catholic friends often went to something called "confession," and I was especially thankful not to be a Catholic on those days.  When I asked my parents why we didn't have to go to confession, I was told that we didn't need a Priest or anyone else in the "middle" between us and God.  We could go directly to God ourselves and confess our sins.   It sounded good to me.  Keep things private.  Just between God and me.

It doesn't sound good to me anymore.  In fact, I think it's the primary reason so many of us are so broken and wounded inside, bound by the very sin from which Jesus freed us.

It's not that we don't know Jesus.  We would say that we have been "saved."  We have been "set free."  But have we?  How saved are we?  How free are we?

I learn so much from my college students.  I love to watch them as they worship God in chapel and Vespers, dance at the Homecoming dance, play in the marching band, compete in athletics, sing in the choir, and perform at the Factory Theater.  But one of my favorite places to engage with them is in the classroom, especially on the days when the discussion leads to matters of deepest importance. Last Wednesday was one of those days.

It was my youth ministry class.  Many of the students in this class will become youth pastors.  All of them are passionate about working with youth in some capacity.  There was a group presentation on the topic of sex:  promiscuity, pornography, homosexuality, and other challenges that they will face as they work with youth today.  As the discussion progressed, I told them that youth need a safe place to talk about their sexual struggles and temptations, as well as a place to confess their sexual sins and find forgiveness and support.

One of the students then asked, "What if we're struggling with the same things they are?"  I stopped to take a deep breath.  "These are struggles we all face, yes"  I said.  Someone else said, "I think a lot of college students are walking around with these huge weights, these huge burdens.  It might be sin in their past or something they're struggling with now.  And they think they're too far gone.  They can't ever really feel free.  They never really feel loved and accepted."


My heart broke.  I knew they were right.  I told them, "It's not just youth or college students who walk around with these burdens and temptations and sins.  Adults have the same issues.  We just get better at hiding them as we get older."

I've thought about our conversation ever since I  left class.  What are we doing as the Church?  What are we doing as followers of Jesus Christ?  We are "saved" but we're still in bondage.  We are "forgiven" but we still feel condemned.  We are God's children, but we feel like outcasts -- wounded, abandoned, alone.

The apostle James wrote, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed" (James 5:16).  Healed.  HEALED.  We are forgiven because of Christ's sacrifice.  But often God's healing grace is given through the act of confessing our sins to one another and praying for each other.


Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Life Together) said,

"A man who confesses his sins in the presence of a brother knows that he is no longer alone with himself; he experiences the presence of God in the reality of the other person.  As long as I am by myself in the confession of my sins everything remains in the dark, but in the presence of a brother the sin has to be brought into the light."(116).

We experience the Presence of God in the reality of the OTHER person.  Someone else is in this WITH us.  God's Presence, God's Holy Spirit, is in our brother or sister and they become ministers of God's healing grace.

My fellow Protestants, we could learn some important lessons from our Catholic brothers and sisters, especially in the area of confession.  Our "Jesus and me" theology has kept us from experiencing God's healing grace that flows when we truly confess our sins TO ONE ANOTHER. 


Obviously, we need to use discretion and discernment in choosing when and to whom we confess our sins and burdens.  But it seems to me that we are neglecting one of the most important roles of being a part of the body of Christ, the Church.  We are to be a community of believers that CONFESSES to one another and then allows the grace and love of Jesus Christ to flow through us to others -- His life-giving, healing grace.

We need to confess to God, AND to our brothers and sisters in Christ, that we have sinned...and we are ALL in need of God's healing grace.