Searching for Sanctuary

I have such a difficult time disengaging my mind.  It has always been a battle for me.  I would consider it a blessing if I believed that my thoughts aligned with Paul's admonition to the Philippians to think about what is "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy," but that is not always the case.

Instead, my thoughts often take me back to words that were spoken to me, conversations that I had with people, issues that trouble me, questions that haunt me, regrets, unfulfilled hopes and dreams -- in short, a myriad of things that are seldom, if ever, helpful to me or my spirit.  Last Sunday in church my pastor, Doug Newton, said, "Satan will take negative words and make them hurt more, cut deeper, sink in."  Yes, indeed.

I truly envy people who can disengage their minds.  People who, when you ask them "what are you thinking about?" can honestly say, "not much really."  How is that possible??  And how can I get that??

I am searching for a sanctuary.  Not a physical place, but a spiritual place of peace, relief, comfort. A place to soothe my troubled mind.  A place where healing oil can be applied to the deep wounds that are in the dark corners of my spirit --  hidden to everyone -- everyone but the Lord.

I admit, I've searched for sanctuary in lots of places over the years.  One of them has been the movie theater.  Yes, I go for the movie and the popcorn, but the truth is, I also go to escape.  A movie theater is a place of diversion where for two hours I am transported to another place, another time, another life.  And honestly, I am often inspired by movies.  I really believe that God speaks to me many times in the theater.

But the recent event in Aurora, Colorado has changed my view of the movie theater.  My heart is so heavy for the victims, the families, the rescue personnel, the entire Aurora community.  When I look at their faces on TV, I see the faces of my own college students, family, friends -- it could have been any of us.  I haven't entered a theater since that happened, which is unusual for me.  I am not afraid for my physical life.  It just is no longer a place of escape for me -- no longer a sanctuary.

Thankfully, the story does not end here.  The journey is not over.  At this point in my life, I am discovering a very important truth.  It is a truth that I have "known" for a while, but I have struggled to apply it.

The truth is, the only real sanctuary is within, when in a deeply spiritual sense I allow myself to be held by my Heavenly Father.  And I can actually CHOOSE to go there.  In fact, I MUST choose to go there.  But the good news is that I DO have a choice.  I am not at the mercy of my mind to take me wherever it desires, or wherever the enemy wants to direct it.  I am a child of God -- I am the Father's beloved -- and I can choose to run into His arms whenever I need to.

God wants to grant us peace, a deep sense of security, a profound awareness of His love for us.  The enemy is a liar who seeks to destroy us.  But we do NOT have to listen to the lies.  We CAN choose -- choose to listen to the One who loves us, who offers us true sanctuary.

Sanctuary -- a place of peace, comfort and rest.  It is HERE, because HE is here.  True sanctuary is in the arms of our Heavenly Father.  And His arms are always open.  Always.