Life is...Messy

Life is....messy.  And most of us walk around not knowing what to do with the mess.  So we try to hide it, because when we compare ourselves to others, at least on the surface, it seems like we're the only ones who have a mess.  But the truth is, everyone else is hiding theirs, too.  We say we're the body of Christ.  We say we are a family.  We say we will support and love one another, no matter what.  But in actuality, we don't really mean it.  We're so far from being a true family.

One of the courses I teach is on youth ministry.  When we discuss the youth of today I tell my students, "Youth ministry is messy, because youth are messy.  But if you're going to truly minister to youth today, you've got to be willing to love them as they are.  Don't be afraid of the mess.  Jesus wasn't."  Much of the mess of today's youth is visible. They come with their loud music and piercings and tattoos and skateboards.  They come with their defiant attitudes and irreverent questions.  They come with all their "baggage," but if you truly love them, if they find in you someone they feel they can trust, then they are often willing to show you their baggage -- addictions to drugs and alcohol, sexual promiscuity, violence, depression, low self-esteem, loneliness, shattered dreams, hopelessness.  Many of them are desperately hoping for someone to trust with their "mess."

But it's not just our youth that are a mess. The truth is, most of us are a mess too.  We just get better at hiding it as we get older.  We use a variety of methods, some requiring more energy and expertise than others.  Henri Nouwen knew this fact over twenty years ago when he wrote,

"Beneath all the great accomplishments of our time there is a deep current of despair.  While efficiency and control are the great aspirations of our society, the loneliness, isolation, lack of friendship and intimacy, broken relationships, boredom, feelings of emptiness and depression, and a deep sense of uselessness fill the hearts of millions of people in our success-oriented world."

Our "success-oriented world."  For all our successes, what have we achieved?  We are hiding behind our accomplishments, our images, our idea of how a "Christian" should look and act.   But are we really less lonely?  Do we feel true connection to others?  Can we be ourselves -- REALLY ourselves -- with our brothers and sisters in Christ?  Has God's love so filled us and each other that we can share our mess without fear of judgment, criticism, or rejection?

I think we need to start figuring out how to truly love each other.  Jesus Himself urged us, commanded us, to love one another.  Our love for each other is our greatest witness to the world, our greatest testament to the power of God's love, working in and through us.

But a word of caution:  it's certainly not a perfect formula.  Being vulnerable -- sharing your mess -- is risky business.  It sounds good in theory -- as the body of Christ, we allow God's love to fill us so that we can truly love one another, unconditionally.

Here's the problem.  We're not perfect.  We're a work in progress.   All of us.  So, if you truly love someone, eventually it will hurt.   If you truly put your trust in someone, eventually they will let you down.  Because as human beings, we will fail each other.  We will let each other down.  I've known this truth for quite a while, and because of it I decided to become somewhat of a professional at hiding my mess.  Hiding can become an occupational hazard, especially for people in ministry, because people in ministry aren't supposed to have any messes.

I've experienced pain.  I've experienced rejection.  I've been hurt deeply by those I love, and I have also deeply hurt others.  So, we have a choice.  (This journey is FULL of choices).  Do we work harder at hiding, or do we choose to love, to search for others who dare to be real, who dare to be honest, who dare to believe that we can become what Jesus prayed we would become -- ONE in Him.

I AM finding these people.  There ARE followers of Jesus who dare to believe that this love of God can change the world.  Followers of Jesus who have experienced the love of God in such a powerful way that they are forever changed.  Followers of Jesus who understand that the only way to true healing and wholeness is by unpacking the mess and allowing the grace and love of God to work.  Followers of Jesus who are willing to risk loving and being loved.  Because ultimately, God is holding us all in His loving Hands.  And He is calling us to go out, into the world He loves, because it's a mess out there.  As Nouwen says,

"In our world of loneliness and despair, there is an enormous need for men and women who know the heart of God, a heart that forgives, that cares, that reaches out and wants to heal.  In that heart there is no suspicion, no vindictiveness, no resentment, and not a tinge of hatred.  It is a heart that wants only to give love and receive love in response...whose only desire is to say with our whole being to our brothers and sisters of the human race, 'You are loved.  There is no reason to be afraid.  In love God created your inmost self and knit you together in your mother's womb'" (Psalm 139:13)